The only road to real self improvement is a radical application of the Word to our lives. There is a constant tension in the Christian life of striving to live by the Word while at the same time relying on God for our next breath.
CS Lewis wrote on this subject. I hope this encourages you today to stop trying to impress others. People who live by all law and not enough Gospel usually end up very lonely and disappointed with others, with themselves, and with life in general.
Sometimes I think that the Apostle Paul, if he was writing specifically to today's church (I know, he did, but you know what I mean) would ask, "DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE FREE IN CHRIST?????" Here is Lewis in Mere Christianity on this very subject:
Either we give up trying to be good, or else we become very unhappy indeed. For, make no mistake: if you are really going to try to meet all the demands made on the natural self, it will not have enough left over to live on. The more you obey your conscience, the more your conscience will demand of you. And your natural self, which is thus being starved and hampered and worried at every turn, will get angrier. In the end, you will either give up trying to be good, or else become one of those people who, as they say, "live for others" but always in a discontented, grumbling way--always making a martyr of yourself. And once you have become that you will be a far greater pest to anyone who has to live with you than you would have been if you had remained frankly selfish.
Well, CS Lewis IS fallible, much to the chagrin of many in the evangelical church--so I'm not sure about Lewis' suggestion that we should have just "remained frankly selfish"--Lewis is probably using prophetic overstatement to drive home the point. On the other hand, he may indeed have a good point all the way around including the last phrase!! How have you struggled with this issue?
CS Lewis wrote on this subject. I hope this encourages you today to stop trying to impress others. People who live by all law and not enough Gospel usually end up very lonely and disappointed with others, with themselves, and with life in general.
Sometimes I think that the Apostle Paul, if he was writing specifically to today's church (I know, he did, but you know what I mean) would ask, "DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE FREE IN CHRIST?????" Here is Lewis in Mere Christianity on this very subject:
Either we give up trying to be good, or else we become very unhappy indeed. For, make no mistake: if you are really going to try to meet all the demands made on the natural self, it will not have enough left over to live on. The more you obey your conscience, the more your conscience will demand of you. And your natural self, which is thus being starved and hampered and worried at every turn, will get angrier. In the end, you will either give up trying to be good, or else become one of those people who, as they say, "live for others" but always in a discontented, grumbling way--always making a martyr of yourself. And once you have become that you will be a far greater pest to anyone who has to live with you than you would have been if you had remained frankly selfish.
Well, CS Lewis IS fallible, much to the chagrin of many in the evangelical church--so I'm not sure about Lewis' suggestion that we should have just "remained frankly selfish"--Lewis is probably using prophetic overstatement to drive home the point. On the other hand, he may indeed have a good point all the way around including the last phrase!! How have you struggled with this issue?
2 comments:
Even though I hate to admit it, struggling with my motives has always been difficult for me. The human effort is an awesome area to explore, especially in the context of marriage. We are called love the other more than we love ourselves. If only one member of the relationship brings forth that kind of effort and does so only out of some kind religious obedience in order to relieve their own conscience (should the marriage ever fail they can claim that they did "their part") the bitterness and contempt of the "martyr" would truly be unbearable to live with (sparking the desire by the other to live on the corner of one's roof). However, if the motivation is not by conscience, but by a true desire to be closer to Christ and live as He lived, moreover, love as He loved, any comtempt that may rear its ugly head will soon be recognized as sin and a hinderance to that desired relationship with Christ. It seems to me that CS Lewis tries to convey that the passive/aggressive, manipulative behavior of a embittered martyr is far worse than the outright selfish person. I agree.
When David Saadeh was here on earth, he used to tell me that a marriage is like a garden—it just needs a little bit of watering every day. I don’t know why—but that simple truth has stayed with me all these years. I also think there is a lot to be said for “weeding the garden." But it is so much more then just trying hard—trying hard equals morality which leads to nowhere. There has to be a better way then human effort and emotion.
We need a sound theological framework. It is like building a house without a foundation—the theology is the foundation—and the rest is fairly logical. However, the most difficult part of building a home is the preparation. Surveying the property, digging the hole, sketching it out and pouring the footers. I don’t know anything about construction—but I know that the foundation is ever important. We need to do the hard theological foundational work in an age of sound bites and text messages. We need to think theologically and these other issues will fall into place when we practice that theology. Our generation is too lazy--and we are going to pay the price when our children get older.
Most people are not willing to do the hard work of theology—but then their lives come crashing down as a result. I write this as a husband and father who is still being sanctified. Like John, “I am not worthy to open the scroll.”
I've been working through something in my own mind--and it hasn't quite come together, so just a few thoughts. As fathers and husbands, our model is Jesus who is a prophet, priest and king, both in his humiliation and exaltation. We are to be Christ-like—but how? The fact is that we are in a state of humiliation while on this earth, so our assumption of the roles of prophet/priest/and king should reflect those roles lived out through a state of humiliation. This is where the rubber meets the road and where men have issues. You are not a king—you are a humble king. You are not a priest—you are a humble priest. We are not prophets—we are a humble prophets. We are told to be the leaders in our home, to be like Christ—but in a fallen state, we are operating in humiliation and not exaltation.
Men will only fully succeed as leaders when we also become prophets, priests and kings in our daily lives by following Christ's example.
Maybe I'll write more on this later further exploring the offices of Christ and how they apply today both to the Church and the individual. These theological truths will change the way we operate.
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